Of the many barriers to exercise people face, social anxiety can be a crippling one. Here Ann, one of our Run Buddies talks about trying to keep those anxiety gremlins at bay.
Regular runners with She Runs: Cardiff will know Ann as the smiley, friendly and welcoming Run Buddy that she is and will have marvelled at her achievements including the London marathon and more recently completing the HOWUM ultra-marathon, securing the “most determined runner” award in the process. It might surprise you that it took Ann 3 attempts at attending a social run before she was able to get out of the car.
Here Ann tells us in her own words how she struggles in the hope of showing others who feel the same that they are not alone:
“Damn those gremlins. Every time I think I’ve got them under control they break free and cause havoc again.
I’ve had quite a long sustained period of peace this time, but now they’re back and louder than ever so in an effort to shut them up I’m sharing.
I’m sharing to quieten the anxiety gremlins, because when you shed light in the darkness it’s never as scary as you thought.
I’m sharing this in the hopes it helps others in our group know they’re not alone.
On the outside you might think I’m a confident runner and buddy but most of the time I’m trying to ‘fake it til I make it’. I constantly worry I’ll say or do the wrong thing, be found out. Daft, I know, but those gremlins can be really persuasive
I have struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember. Constantly trying to fit in, fearing getting rejected, (and being rejected -it started with team sports in high school – that probably didn’t help).
I’ve chosen a job where I work on my own most of the time so I don’t have the stress of fitting in at the office or staff room because every day is a different school, I arrive, teach without a break and leave and it suits me.
So where am I going with all this?
Well at the moment I am fighting an internal argument with my sensible self and the self doubt gremlins.
The gremlins are telling me
- I’m not fast enough
- I’m holding people back
- I shouldn’t run with other people
My sensible brain says
- To ignore the gremlins,
- None of the things the gremlins say are true
- She Runs: Cardiff support runners whatever their pace #speedisnotimportant
- Nobody gets left behind
- Back of the pack runners are just as valid as the front runners
And you know what?
My sensible brain is right, and it’s working really hard to shout louder and drown out the gremlins.
With the support of She Runs: Cardiff and it’s inclusive ethos I’m:
- continuing to run,
- continuing to support social runs,
- carrying on showing up;
- even when the urge is to stay home and hide under my duvet
So, if like me, you’re anxious and worry about running with us – please give us a try anyway. A warm welcome awaits you. I’d be delighted to meet anyone before a social run so that you don’t have to turn up on your own.
Trust me – you won’t regret it.
She Runs: Cardiff is an amazing family, one I’m proud to be a part of, and no gremlin is going to stop me, not now, not ever. “
If you would like to join us but are too anxious please do get in touch and we will do our utmost to support you to attend. You can email us on sheruns.cardiff@gmail.com or message us on Facebook.
We run on every Wednesday evening at 730pm and Sunday morning at 8am in various locations. Please join our Facebook group for more info on our runs.
She Runs: Cardiff - Mae Hi'n Rhedeg: Caerdydd 